Ringers

Tonight I had class. Statistics 145. Every Monday and Wednesday from 5:30 to 7:00. Tonight my teacher didn't show, I got to go home early.

The weather was beautiful and I would not waste it. In mere weeks even the evening weather will be unbearable, but I will love it anyways. But it will not be great basketball weather. Tonight was. So I go home, I change, I got my kicks on, grab my favorite so smooth it shouldn't be allowed on a court but god damnit it's still better than rubber basketball, call up my friend D, and head to the park.

Within minutes of getting to the park. Two girls come up to us. One is short, frankly speaking has a nice ass, and is outgoing which is 100% what I am not. She starts to talk to us, and tells us the catch. They are selling magazines. Sorry, not interested in magazines we say. She says, "If I make a 3 would you buy one?", "I'll think about it" I say as I toss her the ball.

She takes off the UHF's. That's an acronym for ugly face hiders. You know, those huge sunglasses that make a girl look like a praying mantis? Ready to pounce on you at a moments notice. Happy to disguise the cavernous expanse that lies beyond. This has never proved more correct. She laughs for a while, can't believe we agreed to it. throws up the worst shot I have ever seen in my life. But you know what? Swoosh.

Fuck.

Ok, I look thru the fuckin pamphlet, covered in stickers that said "hottie". Those stickers fucking lie.

"Wired magazine. Ok, I can deal with that. How much?."
"40 bucks."
"40 bucks?" what the fuck is this?
"It's a two year subscription."
"Two years?!?"
"Yeah it's all we sell."
"What else do you have?"
"Maxim?"
"I like Maxim. How much?"
"Same price."
"That's all you have? Two year subscriptions?"
"Yeah."
"Sorry, I'm out."

They were very upset. Whatever no one said two years.

Morals of the story. Never trust a girl wearing UHF's, make her take that shit off first. And never make a bet with someone who looks like they don't know what they are doing. Ugly shot or not they are a fucking ringer.