That didn't last long

I don't know why I haven't written in so long. I've been thinking, pondering, a lot lately. The words just don't want to pour out of my finger-tips. Maybe it's that when I see them in hard format I have to commit to them. Maybe I don't want too. Maybe I'll do it anyways.

So this semester before it started I pretty much came to the conclusion that Computer Science was no longer for me, this is for a number of reasons. First, early burnout. When I was taking CS241, I was programming all week at work, and then going home and programming for another 20 hours. It wasn't fun, I didn't enjoy it. I didn't enjoy the person I was becoming. When I started to program it was because I enjoyed it. I loved to see things happening on the screen, and I loved to know that was because of me. I loved being able to do what others would literally describe as magic. Geeks like me knew better than that, but it was still fun. When you do it for ~60 hours a week, it's no longer fun, not like it was. It was a distraction before, and as it became more and more of a focus, I lost focus.

I think this also shows the pro's and con's of getting into a field very early, you learn a lot about it, earlier than most. I've now been programming for a living for 2 and a half years. I read a lot of articles explaining how most programmers burn out and move on in their mid-30's, or live in obscurity for the rest of their careers. I don't want obscurity, and I know enough to realize that one day, a younger kid will replace me just as I am doing now. Now let's pretend that an average programmer will get out at 35 and have earned their degree in 4 years (hah) at age 22. That's a 13 year career for what they have a degree in. That's insane. Now let's factor in that I was on the 6 year plan, and I started at 18. That means I would have 7 year career (approximately) before I decided to get out. That kind of sucks and I really want to plan for the long term.

That's why I've decided to move on to a business degree. Something I can stretch in a multitude of ways, to match my interests at any point in time. I can still program and do what I enjoy, but one day I can actually manage a business doing neat and important things, but still have enough background to give my developers realistic and rational goals. It seems like a much smarter long term plan for myself.

Not to mention, when I talk about computers now, the code behind it is not what interests me so much, a lot of times it's just the philosophy of it (I say that for lack of a better term). I love talking about digital identity and what it means to anyone who is willing to listen. I love explaining the pros and cons of Digital Rights Management. I love thinking about how leasing digital content is a smart long term solution and how users should be able to do what they want with their information. I love talking about the series of tubes metaphors and all of the crazy things coming out of them. I love talking about how computers and technology and the internet are changing our daily lives. I want to get into a field where I can play and talk and communicate with people who are interested in the same. I just have to find them, and find out how to get in on that.

Hopefully I'll have some more updates soon. It's been an eventful couple of weeks I think, with a lot of surprises.